i just want to mention the best parts of this day because it is almost 1 am and i STILL have to shower...when will i change?

oooh man cyrell benally hot tamale!

1) madi was speaking in a baby voice and of course the biatch plummer called her out "you sound like a baby"
but the best part was that cyrell responded with "yeah madi, talk like a human"

2) context: madison burps
cyrell, "madi! you have got to stop eating glitter!"

3) context: orlan couldn't reach the letter cards on the pocket chart
orlan, "look i'm too small, like alice!"
(alice in wonderland) =)

4) i brought out the toy mic (from back in the DAY) and when cyrell got a hold of it he started humming a tune...a familiar tune...when i asked him what it was he said, "where the wild things are" this boy has INCREDIBLE phonemic awareness and recall....INCREDIBLE

5) I like your bone- cyrell (pointing to my collar bone)

6) Me- Cyrell I want you to put makeup on me one day
Cyrell- .....really????
Me- yes
Cyrell- ok then i will put on lots of lipstick

7) cyrell chose a pink bracelet and rubber bunny to buy from the treasure chest

8) orlan bought a toy basket, blue necklace, and a rubber bunny =)

9) (this was from a few days ago) i gave kyren a rubber bunny for behaving really well and not hitting (the day before he had hit 3 kids)..at the end of the day he threw his bunny on the roof and it got stuck there...after school i got on top of a chair to retrieve bunny... i was successful in this task.. when i told kyren i had the bunny he RAN TO ME WITH THE MOST GAPING AND LARGE AND BRILLIANT SMILE IN THIS WORLD !!!!! it was out of control amazing

10) (also from a few days ago) we were in the middle of class and plummer says, "who is missing" we find that kevin is not in class...so she leaves to find him...while she is gone the classroom goes crazy in search for kevin! the best part was kyrens interaction with drake,
drake says that kevin got checked out BUT kyren INSISTED that he did not...
he put his hands on drakes shoulders and looked him in the eye and said, "no drake, no he didn't" and then he started to shake drake and say it again, "no drake, no he didnt!"

11) kevin hit kyren (and today i am teaching them to say NICE words always)...so kyren told me and we went to kevin...instead of me having to do all the talking kyren faciliatated part of the conversation, he said,
"kevin, (as he pats his back) you have to say sorry...come on kevin" it was so freakin cute!
kevin, surprisingly, got up and looked at him and said sorry without being mad....is this the key? is this how 5 year olds solve problems? by themselves? do i need to initiate much? should i let the child do most of the mediating?.... the students respond well to one another...but i probably have to be in their presence..hmmm still fantastic to see = o)

another day of 5 year olds. another wonderful day .

this past week could have quite possibly been the worst in my life... but in the grand scheme (i can only say this after a few days of reflection..during those days i would not have said this) it ....really....is a ......good learning.....experience.....how hard it is to say that. i couldn't sleep monday night simply because of anxiety concerning my aid.

i lack the ability to be confrontational, assertive, or speak in any way besides smiling from ear to ear.....
i'm working on this...

it took SO MUCH COURAGE..but i did speak to my aid about her yelling in class...the anxiety i felt before asking her to come outside the classroom was overwelhming...i actually went to the "bathroom" first to stall on time....yep thats how bad my non-confrontational skills are...


happy things are what i want to post on now:

1) landon grabbing my leg in the middle of class and holding on with a steadfast disposition

2) cyrell ..oh there are so many things......

a) he pretended like he had magic dust and "blew" it on me ...i turned into cinderalla at lunch time (this was during class time as well) and the pear he held turned into the carriage...i used my fingers to represent cinderalla ...then cyrell made the noise of the clock bell ringing at 12 ..my fingers quickly ran across the lunchroom table to dash into my "carriage" before both my and my carriage turned into rags....it was too late...i left my slipper at the ball....which luckily cyrell managed to find and return so that i could marry the prince

b) the next day at lunch cyrell brought me a kool aid in his lunch box!!! it was SO SO SO SWEETTTTTTTTTTT. in his lunch (which i am assuming he packed) were a giant bag of marshmallows, and about 15 cookies.....hahahahahhah after we both finished our kool aids we pretended like my kool aid was a girl because i had stuck my gum on the top of her head (the top of hte kool aid bootle) i "kissed" his kool aid bottle with mine....wow that sounds terrible....it was a quick peck and instaneously she became a princess and his kool aid bottle a prince..and we were back to cinderalla.... he enacted cinderalla beautifully with only 2 kool aid bottles provided....this was one of the bestest lunches of my life...during the lunch orlan offered his friendship for some marshmallows...cyrell provided....when i asked him who his friends were he said blane ...when i asked about me he said yes you and orlan now.......
hahahaha


c) this may be the best....today he ran towards me (the pudgy kid that he is) and with flailing arms, grabbed me and said, "I LOVE YOU MS. SINGH!!!"
(this happened twice today)

d) i think the most magical moment of today was with landon....i had put him in time out during in class recess....at first he was belligerent, saying comments like, "im not going to come here anymore, i'm going back to my old school!" and ," im not even smart.." eventually he calmed down and sat in his seat...throughout recess i would glance at him and would find him sitting still... (who knows if he really was but he had damn good timing to be sitting still the two times i checked on him). ...eventually he came over to look at the pictures me and cyrell were looking at together...he came and put his head and neck on my neck and his little baby ear touched mine! it WAS THE MOST PRECIOUS MOMENT OF MY LIFE. FOR REAL. PRECIOUS MOMENTS...just like that company....ok i know this sounds weird but you had to be there and his head had to be on your neck. it was beautiful really. amazingly beautiful. it makes me smile when i think about it. every single time. aw aw aw aw i love that kid. = o )

e) today was april fools day..me and ms.plummer pretended like we had to leave for an emergency this morning and we told the kids they had to teach....i had set up the camera before hand so that when we left it recorded what they said or did.....
it was funny because i ran into the other teacher's room and ms.plummer was no where to be found...the other kindergarten aid (v- who is incredible) helped me by telling me to get in the class because some of the students were walking out...she went into my classroom twice to just check in...me and ms.plummer stayed out for about 4 minutes... when we came back in we said APRIL FOOLS DAY!!! they all looked stunned and didtn seem excited...but later when jc came in late landon and a few other students were quick to tell him about the april fools joke we had played on them! i think they enjoyed it...i hope so ! the video recording was a funny..it showed kids walking around and only three staying in there seats...what was funny was that at one point cyrell said " you guys stop the camera will tell us what we do:" wow he understood the camera function haha. also when i walked by in i turnedf the camera back on because it had been turned off by kevin because he grabbed it ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh he ruined it. bahh it could have been more climatic but....maybe not...haha it was still good.

throughout the day kids were saying silly things to play april fools jokes on eachother like, "theres a spider on your head " (after some other child had said the SAME EXACT THING TO THEM) for example at lunch, someone told landon "theres a spider behind you" landon looks and the other child screams APRIL FOOLS DAY and landon responds with a huge grin and says, "you got me!!!!!!!!"

the best april fooler was orlan dale. we were at math centers and were working on subtraction problems...all of a sudden orlan puts his head down and pretends to cry...i turn to him and ask him what happened...he pauses and then looks up with a grin and says APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!! the SMILE on his face was one of VICTORY AND PURE GLORY at defeating his teacher. he had won, he had taken the lead...he was the happiest boy on this planet. he could NOT STOP GRINNING he even YELPED FOR JOY! hahahahahaha the excitement he exuded can not be expressed in words. IF ONLY i had somehow been able to record that moment...if only....i think he actually emitted light and glowed in that moment...he laughed and smiled and laughed and smiled and laughed and smiled and laughed and smiled ....
it was wonderful

" ms. singh, i like you...i dream about you"

- landon shirley

Why do you love JC girls?
"Hes so beautifullllll"
-tasheena and neala =)'

cyrell raises his arms straight up and then brings them together in the air..he waits for a second...and then he KICKS... ( it was a move off of Kung Fu Panda) the best moment of the day

"watch ms. singh" landon throws a crayon up in the air and then catches it. "what did you do"
"its MAGIC!!!!"

We were talking about what we like and what we don't like at school...i get to Drake :
"i don't like the giraffe"
(either referring to the blue giraffe in the class or the one with weird legs whose neck is broken..)

"i like micheal jackson" -orlan...still talking about what we like at school...

rinaldo (who is not in my class) gives the best hugs in my life. He was in my class for navajo and after he gave me a hug i said, "you give the best hugs ever!" landon overheard me and goes, "what about me...no i guess not.." awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

"we are going to color the best aren't we ms.singh" - landon awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww


i heart kindergarten

i wanted to add this to the prior post:

after we got done talking about what happened at home, i told my student to yell, " I AM SMART!!!!" and he DID!!!! i hope he truly believes it!!!! to make him feel better i then asked him what he wanted to do (play with me,draw, exc) . There was a snow man on the wall we were next to and he pointed to it....so we went back to class and he drew a snowman and cut it out! i hope that made him happy. i really do. to see tears down that boys face was the worst thing in the world for me- the worse freakin thing. how do you catch these things? how does a person know if a child is suffering at home?

=(

cyrell benally is my life:

1) I was fixing something on the carpet when out of nowhere a hand jets out in front of me...whose hand you ask??? CYRELL PRINCESS BENALLY! (it was a moment to be lived really...not so much read)

2) cyrell tells me he went to the zoo this weekend, when i asked him what he saw at the zoo he named a few animals but for the last one he turned around, stuck his but out at me and said, "the one that goes.... poooooooot on you" .....i just stared. he then said, "you know the one that is stinky!" i just stared again. i'm not sure if i figured out it was a skunk or if he ended up telling me- regardless this was the highest point of my day =o)

I LOVE YOU CYRELL !



an event which i was not expecting today...:

the child in my class who had been physically abused in the fall starting crying today (which is NOT normal for him) after my aid was harsh to him during math centers. i took him outside and asked him if what my aid said hurt his feelings...he said no...(i was surprised yet happy that he was responding to me) ..i then asked if someone at home made him feel upset....he nodded yes. this was the point, this was the freakin point

ARE YOU SERIOUS? ARE YOU STILL EMOTIONALLY AND/OR PHYSICALLY ABUSING YOUR CHILD???? WHAT THE FUCK MAN??? YOU DON'T DESERVE THE TITLE OF FATHER.

that is what i want to tell his dad. i then asked if his dad had hit him..thank the LORD he said no. I then asked if his dad got mad at him or called him stupid...this is when he nodded yes...

AGAIN WHAT THE FUCK MAN YOUR CHILD IS 5- BACK OFF!

my student frequently inverts his letters and numbers and i'm sure this is what frustrated his dad. and then my aid (as usual) became frustrated with him for not writing his numbers correctly..and that is what set him off. i knew something was wrong because when i asked him a question he just stared blankly into space...looking like he needed to let go of some pain he had been holding onto all day =( what the hell????????i want to take this child home and TAKE CARE OF HIM. let me raise him for the time i am here..because clearly the shit which is happening at home is not going to cut it. DON'T MESS WITH MY KID. i hate this for my student..i hate it. what do i do? do i confront mom? if i do, she will probably tell him to stop telling me anything that happens at home. do i go to the counselor who in the fall was wary of reporting the abuse case? who the crap do i go to???? its not fair damn it. life is not fair.

i love him. i don't want him to be scared of his family. i don't. i really don't.

i have decided to no longer let negative events effect my well-being. there is no need to damn it! i am not in haiti, i am not in darfur, i am not a refugee, i am not millions of miles from civilization...well...;) man i can freakin video chat now..INSANE. i can see the faces of my friends and feel as if i am sitting close to them. i can talk to anyone anywhere instantaneously...loneliness ? really nupur? i am determined to do something different every weekend. it has to happen . i know my time here will quickly pass...although some nights...realllll slow...regardless this is the west- sites are abundant of which i have not seen! which must be seen. ima do it. ima make that change for myself. YES i can. how much cornier can this get? haha

as far as school my aid yet remains a psycho bitch. i shouldn't be so harsh..she just takes discipline to a level which i have only seen in movies...movies which are about going to a military boot camp. hence psycho bitch. i have to talk to her. like really talk to her. not just "maybe you shouldn't get so mad at them..." no. i have to say ,"I can't have this is my classroom any longer. You have got to stop. It is making me uncomfortable. You are hindering my ability to love and teach these kids. go away damn it." if i simply say these things maybe she will leave kindergarten. i want her to have a job and be happy but just not in my classroom. no more. damn it. no more. get away. i have never wanted anyone in my life to get so far away from me as i would like my aid to. thats a strong statement i have made...real strong.

i want to pick back up the 10 best parts of my day, so here it goes =o)

1. Orlan Dale brought a teddy bear to school along with a white curtain. in the middle of reading he got the white curtain out of his bag and wrapped it around his bear and said the following words, "look! he getting married!"

2. Cyrell was playing with toy animals..when i asked him what he was doing he responded with the following, " they are going to india, want to come?"


3. we started learning how to count by 5's today..after i showed them how and we went through counting by 5's once landon said, "COOL! i'm learning!!"

4. Kevin was talking to himself while i was teaching, when i asked him what he was talking about he did not respond..but landon did: "He's thinking about God!"

5. Landon came up behind me to give me a hug. I pretended like I did not know who it was so I said, "who is it?" his response, "oooooooooooooo (like a ghost) its wyatt!" Wyatt is another kid in my class..not a ghost haha

6. Kyren was drawing a valcano and bat on his white board. When I asked him about his picture he drew himself and then said ," look, its a bullet coming but i hit it and it went back" the bullet was a big blue circle beside the picture of himself

7. Orlan brought in a frog stuffed animal ....it had NO EYES

8. Orlan told me to give him my hand..when i did he kissed it! way to cute for this world

9. I told cyrell to draw 18 on his board. he did but he also included a heart between the 1 and the 8...when i asked him why he drew the heart their he said, "because they're in love"

10. after school i had a red marker and started drawing on neala's hands. I wrote, "I love you" on one hand and "Neala loves mom and dad" on the other hand. The next day she came into class with the writing on her hand still and said, "I showed my mom!!"
=) eeeeeeeeeeee

today she asked me to write on her hand again after-school..so sweet =o)

so my anger has cooled off a bit....ah life. ah life experiences. why do i need to deal with this shit when i am already so far from my comfort zone? these are the moments when i can either step it up or wallow in self pity...i'm going to go ahead and not pick the latter... my aid is crazy, the other kindergarten teacher is crazy, my emotions are crazy...ah damn. i wish their was a meditation pill: automatic peace. cultivating a peace of mind is difficult when one is hit incessantly with events that shake one's being.

ima try. ima make it through. God will give me the strength to learn and grow. I am thankful (am trying to be) for this opportunity to learn from all that is surrounding me and trying to push me away from happiness. ima rise above this shit.

step 1) monday morning i am going to speak directly and assertively to my aid concerning her temper and voice in the classroom
step 2) find a dance class to join
step 3) get cyrell to draw me another picture of his future wedding dress (the one he drew in December he took home so i was unable to capture it with my camera) ...did i write about this? ...just in case..
.
Cyrell had one day drawn a beautiful princess (he will usually draw princesses or fairies)....on this particular day he asked me to come and view his drawing..I asked him who the girl in his picture was... and he responded with the following:

"This is me on my wedding day and this is my dress"

and that was the best day of my life