so my anger has cooled off a bit....ah life. ah life experiences. why do i need to deal with this shit when i am already so far from my comfort zone? these are the moments when i can either step it up or wallow in self pity...i'm going to go ahead and not pick the latter... my aid is crazy, the other kindergarten teacher is crazy, my emotions are crazy...ah damn. i wish their was a meditation pill: automatic peace. cultivating a peace of mind is difficult when one is hit incessantly with events that shake one's being.

ima try. ima make it through. God will give me the strength to learn and grow. I am thankful (am trying to be) for this opportunity to learn from all that is surrounding me and trying to push me away from happiness. ima rise above this shit.

step 1) monday morning i am going to speak directly and assertively to my aid concerning her temper and voice in the classroom
step 2) find a dance class to join
step 3) get cyrell to draw me another picture of his future wedding dress (the one he drew in December he took home so i was unable to capture it with my camera) ...did i write about this? ...just in case..
.
Cyrell had one day drawn a beautiful princess (he will usually draw princesses or fairies)....on this particular day he asked me to come and view his drawing..I asked him who the girl in his picture was... and he responded with the following:

"This is me on my wedding day and this is my dress"

and that was the best day of my life

the other kindergarten teacher

i just found out that the other kindergarten teacher has been talking shit about me. she thinks my lines are chaotic and are influencing her class to do the same, apparently "lowering the morale of kindergarten". She also believes that I did not help her during the Christmas play and that I played around with the kids instead of helping out. that biatch is the one who decided to make costumes on the day of the Christmas play. She is also the one who decided to have all 40 kids PRACTICE IN THE LUNCHROOM for the play. She is also the one who made up a dance for them to practice but did practice it with them. She is also the one who is increasing her math/reading scores on the district tests by giving her kids HINTS ON THE MOTHER FUCKING TEST. THAT MOTHER FUCKER. She is the one who has been in education for YEARS AND YET HAS THE AUDACITY TO TALK SHIT ABOUT A PERSON WHO MOVED 5 MILLION MILES AWAY FROM THEIR FAMILY AND FRIENDS TO TEACH FOR THE VERY FIRST FUCKIN TIME. THE AUDACITY TO TALK ABOUT A PERSON WHO HAS LEFT ALL THE SUPPORT THEY HAVE EVER HAD AND TO NOT ONLY LIVE IN A PLACE WITHOUT THIS BUT TO SIMULTANEOUSLY WORK IN ONE OF THE TOUGHEST FIELDS- EDUCATION. THE AUDACITY TO SPEAK WHEN HER CLASS IS CHAOS. THE AUDACITY TO COMPLAIN TO ME ABOUT PARENTS COMPLAINING TO HER ABOUT THE STATE OF HER CLASSROOM. THE AUDACITY TO COMPLAIN WHEN HER AID PLANS AND TEACHES FOR HER. WHAT A BITCH.




i realize after a month of not posting this was def not wanted i wanted to begin the year with. but damn, its on my mind and i needed to type it off.