i can't believe, even after i started this i have yet to hold myself accountable to write and reflect..no more i will begin...

teaching is hard. real hard. for real real hard. i have this newfound awe/respect for teachers. teachers are moms/dads/doctors/mentors/and friends to all their kids. they not only have to worry about their kids meeting benchmark on standardized tests they must keep the administration happy along with all parents. parents, oh do i have stories about parents..i will dedicate a later post for parents but this will not be the one for parents..
teaching is hard. did i say that? yes. i want to re- emphasize that for myself. that its ok to feel like i am exponentially becoming more terrible as a teacher. its ok. it has only been a month and a half - i can't be the really cool teacher with the all the awesome math games, stories, art projects, or letter activities...i am going to stop on letter activities and say that we did a cool letter activity with the letter R yesterday! the kids drew the letter R along with three things that started with the sound that R makes (robot, radio, i am not sure why i am listing the examples they drew). then they cut them out and taped their drawings to their tables..pictures of R are everrrrrywherrre... it is super cute=)

BUT I WANT TO BE an awesome teacher. i do. but it takes time..and that sucks.
as does becoming skilled in any profession...

i feel like i am toooo concerned with my kids grades/data because of teach for america. they insisit that we have data data data ON EVERYTHINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. i understand the importance of tracking students..but i feel like, no actually i know this is my focus in the classroom...and i want my focus to be on what can they do happily while learning? not- they have to know this and we gotta do it like this now now now. ahh! its super frustrating- these kids shouldn't have numbers attached to them at such an early age...they shouldn't. someone told me it should be more like, "meetings" with the children on what they should practice and not, " you made a 25 on the patterns test..that is low...you really need to work on it." i don't like the number attached to kids approach- i DON'T. i want to be able to go into my classroom and if i feel like it just tell them to create their own stories all day. creativity is being taken out of kindergarten and i want it back. i wish i had a way to do it..i try my best..but i know its also because this is my first time teaching..it is harder to become creative with cirriculum..but ah!

these kids should be pretending like they are giant dinosaurs that are destroying puny insect life down below ..that is what kindergarten would be if i made it.

i miss home terribly. i miss all my friends terribly. if you read this i miss you. you are my friend. i love you. (i also tell my kids to tell eachother at the end of the day to grab a partner and tell him/her that they care for them and that they will always be friends and help them out..its so sweet to see..but do they follow what i tell them to say? nope. their attention and memory span is 3 minutes. that never helps)

to make my self feel better everyday (and mitigate the effects of homesickness disease) i try to think of 10 good things that happened to me everyday...so here are my 10 for today:

1. Orlan Dale, age 5, "Micheal Jackson was not a girl, he was a boy. he died in california."
2. Cyrell Benally, age 5, "Look Ms. Singh I can dance!!" (in the middle of the lunchroom with no prompt given to dance)
3.Landon Shirley,age 5 dives under a table that is not his in the middle of the math lesson...i ask, "What are you doing??!" he responds, "i wanted to pick up this crayon."
4. Landon Shirley, "I am PURRTICTATING" (participate was the word he was aiming for)
5. Ice cream all over Javin's face after the ice cream party. he had no idea of the smear and i never told him
6. Cyrell's hugs
7. Drake Smith as he walks into class in the morning, " We missed you Ms. Singh!"
8. JC's hugs
9. Sara Khan's voicemails
10. Kaden Bitsies tuxedo and gelled hair. for class picture day. too bad it was cancelled